Days like today are the ones that make me think about who i really am. Am i the person I want to be? or the one that everyone else wants me to be? Maybe I´m both; maybe I´m none. Don´t know which one I am. All i know is that am sick & tired of putting a mask everyday and pretending everything is fine when IT´S NOT!!!! It´s frustrating and takes away a lot of energy.

I don´t really know what I want to do in my life. Right now I´m finishing my second-year at Med-School which makes me really happy but sad at the same time. Why? because I don´t think I like Medicine that much. I think I like arts more. Don´t know what to do my granpa is really excited about me being a doctor like him so I don´t want to quit and let him down. But on the other hand I don´t think Med-School is really for me. I feel like i don´t fit in there. I feel so lonely sometimes, even when I´m surrounded by tons of people. I can hear them talking all around me, but it´s like no one´s really with me at that moment; and that feels horrible.

I don´t wish to quit because I don´t want to give my future children the possibility to argue back saying that "if I was a quiter then they can be quiters too". That would break my heart. So that´s another reason why I don´t want to quit. I would try to keep my head held high and continue my journey through Med-School and when I´m done with that, I´ll study what I love: art.

xoxo,
LR